Updated: Dec 22, 2020
I don’t know about you but I’m finding Christmas intense this year. I always put too much pressure on myself for things to be perfect! Why do I do this? I ask myself the same question each year, but it’s because I love my babies and want to make it perfect for them. What the sensible side of my brain says is that life isn’t perfect and that trying to show perfection is setting my children up for unrealistic expectations of themselves.
Christmas is a time for family, friends and loved ones. However, in this strange World of Covid that we are living in this means that it might have to just confine to our immediate
family group. I was meant to have my sister and her new fiancé and their children over this year (they live in the UK). This of course is not happening and all of us have had to adjust and accept the change. It has been hard, and I know my eldest is particularly struggling accepting this. We know that the safety of every single person is of the upmost importance, but it doesn’t take away the pain and sadness of not seeing our family for another year. I know that many families I support are in the same boat. I’m afraid I can’t make it any better, but I am here for you and I understand. I have to admit that I am struggling. I feel like I shouldn’t feel like this. I am so lucky, I have a happy, healthy family. I live in a relatively safe and Covid free country and my husband and I have both managed to retain our jobs. We are in a good position compared to many, but it doesn’t take away from how I am feeling.
Today my husband asked how he could help and what I need to revitalise myself. I am lucky to say that I have found great comfort in my work. I am so privileged to work with such fantastic families, as much as I help them they definitely help me. I got to spend a fantastic weekend with a little boy I have known for over a year now. We had fun at the botanical gardens and explored a new park, did some painting etc. I love having fun with a little person who wants to play with me! My kids can be a struggle to get out of the house some days and we don’t always see eye to eye on what’s fun!
Christmas can be hard, we put ourselves under too much pressure, but actually our children don’t really care. They want us to be happy and have fun with them. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression about, “your presence is more important and better than any presents!”
Children do love routine/rhythm and traditions but don’t over complicate them and do too many. For our family the most important thing is a visit from the Christmas Fairy on Christmas eve who brings them each a Christmas book which we read to help them go to sleep. This creates a fantastic supply of Christmas books that I bring out on the 1st of December and then we read them every night until Christmas. We also have a different Christmas meal each year that we choose together. We have had English, Italian, Kiwi and French so far, this year is a BBQ. They also all get new pj’s from Santa, but that’s probably the base of our Christmas traditions. Everything else is flexible as we need our children to be over Christmas. As I said earlier Christmas is often a time for seeing family and loved ones, which may mean travelling to others at different times.
At the end of the day, I need to relax and trust in myself and my family. We will all have a wonderful Christmas, and the bells and whistles are not what’s important at the end of the day. Christmas will happen whether everyone has the perfect food, presents, tidy house etc. All my babies really want is me and all I want is to have a fabulous time with my family. Happy Christmas to everyone! Have a fabulous time and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
Relax and restore yourself while you may have some extra support around you.